CityFellowship | Union Square NYC » missional

the thing about being poor (2)

ljkim — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:02:52 +0000

Middle class folks LOVE getting free stuff. I mean, who doesn’t right? So when we give generously to the poor, we think “O man, we just made their day! What great people we are!” And so this is what a lot of good people do or aspire to do… and we don’t understand when people in soup kitchens snicker, or a homeless person doesn’t want your food leftovers. “So ungrateful!” So we take it overseas or across the border to shower our generosity on more deserving poor, who smile as we bring them toilet paper and teach their children Jesus songs – and they bless us in God’s name, but then at some point we sense a hint of resentment, a snicker, or something… What’s going on? If you really just want to make yourself feel better and earn your title of “good person” by your generosity – and that’s all you want, then just keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want to understand why people (sometimes) don’t seem to want your charity, or scam you when they’re clearly in need, or resent your generosity, then read on.

In the public elementary school where I grew up, certain kids qualified to get free breakfasts and lunches. At lunch time they would file in and get their lunches first, and pay nothing; only then could the rest of the kids go get their food. What a great deal right? Free food AND you get to go first while everybody waits! The reality was that those kids did the walk of shame up to the lunch line. Sometimes kids would purposely not eat so that they didn’t have to make that walk. The kids that did get their free food didn’t look like they enjoyed it. Because even in elementary school they felt shame because of their situation… I know it’s not rational, none of the other kids actually worked for their lunches or earned their own money – and yet these kids felt like they were less because their parents couldn’t afford to pay for their meal plans.

Now imagine people coming into your home to bring you food for a Thanksgiving dinner, and your family expressing gratitude for the stuff that you could not provide them. It doesn’t make you feel good, it makes you feel worse. Because being poor is not about not-having-stuff, being poor is about lacking the power or ability to do stuff for yourself. Plenty of “rich” people in history have had less material goods than the “poor” people of today – and yet they felt rich! It’s not just because they compared themselves to neighbors – it’s because the poor lack power.

What happens when you give great free stuff to people who are poor? Free stuff in this context says “you can’t provide for yourself, let me provide for you” – it reinforces the problem of poverty, the inability to do for oneself, a lack of power to shape one’s own life…

I think this is important to understand… because in Jesus’ mind, being poor, or being poor in spirit was the starting point for all his Kingdom wisdom: the poor know stuff that we don’t, and we need to learn and partner with the poor because in God’s book, they’re chosen. Our world “chooses” the rich and gives them a special status; but God chooses the poor…

[Here's an excerpt from Robert Lupton's Compassion, Justice and the Christian Life]

Ancient Hebrew wisdom describes four levels of charity. The highest level is to provide a job for one in need without his knowledge that you provided it. The next lower level is to provide work that the needy one knows you provided. The third level is to give an anonymous gift to meet an immediate need. The lowest level of charity, to be avoided if at all possible, is to give a poor person a gift with his full knowledge that you are the donor.

Perhaps the deepest poverty of all is to have nothing of value to offer in exchange. Charity that fosters such poverty must be challenged. We know from 40 years of failed social policy that welfare depletes self-esteem while honorable work produces dignity. We know that reciprocity builds mutual respect while one-way giving brews contempt. Yet we continue to run clothes closets and free food pantries and give-away benevolence accounts and wonder why the joy is missing.

Perhaps it is our time and place in history to re-implement the wisdom of the ages and fashion contemporary models of thoughtful compassion. Our donated clothes could create thrift stores and job training. Our benevolence dollars could develop mini-economies within the economy — daycare, janitorial, fix-the-widow’s-roof services that would employ the jobless in esteem-building work. “Your work is your calling” declared the reformer Luther. Does not the role of the church in our day include the enabling of the poor to find their calling?

Related posts:

Helping people find Jesus…

ljkim — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 00:23:33 +0000

…is something EVERY Jesus-follower should wind up doing. I don’t like the word “evangelist” sometimes because it implies that only certain people do this stuff. Yes, some people are better at it than others, but helping people come to know Jesus is something EVERY Jesus-follower does or will do. So here are 10 simple steps to becoming a better Jesus-finder-helper evangelist-like person:

Step 1: Chilax. Making believers is not something YOU can do, it’s something God does. But you DO have a part in it – which is confusing. Just the way Moses parted the sea, even though it was something Moses could not do – it was something God did, but insisted on using Moses for it… In the same way God wants to use YOU to help your friends know him. So the first thing you need to know is: it’s not you. There’s nothing you can say or do – it has to be God doing the stuff – so you can chill and relax (chilax).

Step 2: Believe this is true. Jesus is real. The Gospel message is real. Anyone who isn’t totally insane should want to accept it once they have all the facts straight… You don’t need to shove things down people’s throats (see Step 1). If someone thinks the world is flat, you can kindly disagree but you don’t have to get all high and mighty on them. Eventually, if they trust you enough, they can go find out for themselves… which is often what happens. But before you say or do anything you have to get it straight in your own mind: Christianity isn’t something you “chose” any more than you “chose” to believe the earth is round… It’s true.

Step 3: See the goodness of Jesus. If Jesus is real, which he is, then any sane person who knew him would want to follow him… He’s that great. You don’t have to coax anyone to come get some Jesus… Instead you need to have the right faith and attitude toward Jesus in your own heart: ”Why would anyone NOT want to follow Jesus once they knew and understood all the facts?”

Step 4: Educate, don’t “sell.” Getting people to trust and accept and believe in Jesus is God’s job… But one crucial role you must play is to help in educating people about Jesus and Christianity. Traditional “evangelism” stressed getting people to “accept” Christianity. But how can anyone accept something if they don’t know what the heck it is they’re accepting? All your non-Christian friends know about Christianity is what they hear on TV…usually the bad stuff, the scandals, the abuses, the poor practitioners… It’s up to you to help them know what Jesus is all about… it’s like: before you can accept and run a program, you need to download it first… Education is the downloading of information – so that your friends can then decide for themselves…

Step 5: Be a bringer and a connector. You might not be able to do all the educating yourself. That’s okay – no one person knows everything. But just the way if you were trying to get your friends to use a new techie device – and might forward them a news article about it – connecting them to information you don’t have… in the same way you can help with your friend’s understanding about Jesus by pointing them to books, websites, sermons, church services, small group Bible studies, etc…

Step 6: Be a good example. You don’t need to be perfect – actually, it’s much better if you’re not… If you screw up as much as they do, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Our message is that we’re SINNERS…flawed people… who are saved by grace, so there’s no need to hide our broken parts. But – you should also try to be a decent example of the “saved by grace” part of the faith by being QUICK to repent, quick to admit fault, quick to ask forgiveness…

Step 7: Be you. It’s good to be you, and not try to be someone else. Chances are that your friends like you because you’re like YOU. And by being “you” and at the same time being openly Christian – you give your friends something that no one else can give… Plausibility. The only Christian characters in movies and media tend to be extremists and hypocrites… Sometimes we see Christians in far away places or different cultures. All that makes your non-Christian friend think: that’s fine for them, but it makes no sense for me. You being Christian tells your friend, “normal” people need Jesus too. People like you.

Step 8: Love your friends. The Gospel tells us that God loves us. If you’re a half arsed friend who doesn’t really care about him/her – then your character will contradict Jesus’ message… If God loves them, so should you. So be good to them. Also, love your Christian brothers/sisters and keep them close. The best stuff in our lives are things we wind up doing together… Don’t bad mouth other people (especially other believers) to your friend (or ever!)- it outright contradicts some of the love and forgiveness Jesus-stuff you’re trying to put forward…

Step 9: Be a little philosophical. It’s okay to talk about things having to do with God “philosophically…” Saying “what IF…” Even if the “what if” is something you don’t believe is true. Because this is exactly what you’re asking your friend to do: to consider what-if scenarios having to do with God and eternity that your friend doesn’t yet believe is true…

Step 10: Be patient. Duh. I took YEARS to become a Christian. I had read the Bible from cover to cover twice before it happened. God was also probably patient with you too… so we ought to be patient too.

Related posts:

I finally bought socks!

ljkim — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:59:17 +0000

I’ve needed tube socks for ages. And I see people selling socks on the street by the 59th St bridge and Union Square and at Home Depot – and just random people selling socks from a cart… I even see them at street fairs with tables and tables full of socks. Once a couple of months ago I went to Sports Authority – but the socks were expensive, and they didn’t even have any I liked. So I bought some ankle socks that were on sale. They’re fine, but they feel funny and they’re not so comfortable with boots… So why didn’t I just buy the perfectly good (and ridiculously cheap) socks I see on the street every day? I don’t know exactly: When someone approaches me and tries to sell me something, my first reaction is “Um, no thanks.” But I really needed them. Maybe I thought it would be a hassle (although that’s unfounded, I’ve never been hassled by these kinds of street vendors). Or maybe I was afraid of being ripped off (although they’re around $1 a pair – it’s not a big deal if I bought lousy socks for a dollar). I don’t know why I said “no” all this time. But I have a feeling other people do this too.

You can have a very real need in your life… then you go to a place that handles those needs (store or street fair booth), and the options are so many it turns you off. You’re afraid of being tricked. You’re don’t want to be a fool, or waste your time, or feel stupid. So you say “no.” Our culture sometimes trains us to say “no.” We’re not supposed to take up someone else’s religion. “Want to go to church?” “No thanks, I’m good.” Even if we’re not.

So today the guy standing by Home Depot said, “Need socks?” And I said, “Um no thanks.” But I thought…”wait a minute! Socks? I actually do need socks…” Maybe it was God sending me what I needed. Maybe I just woke up to my deep-down (all the way down to my feet) need for tube socks without holes in them. But the answer was right there.

What are you saying “no thanks” to? Maybe God is offering you something you need. It won’t cost as much as you think. It will be easier than you imagined – most of your fears about God and deep truths are probably unfounded… Yes there may be con-men and swindlers out there – but you already know enough to spot those a mile away. You’ll never know what God has in store for you until you man-up and buy a pair.

And for you “evangelists” trying to GIVE people good stuff they need. Don’t get discouraged. Eventually God helps people recognize their need and they’ll get some socks from you. The question is, will you be there asking when they finally come around?

The emotionally healthy church…

ljkim — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 20:50:23 +0000

Allow me to borrow the title from Pete Scazzero’s book, and ask the question: What would the Church here in the U.S. look like if it were emotionally healthy? If instead of dwelling in emotional fusion it was able to imitate God’s patient, humble, self differentiated love? First, pastors and church leaders would stop making an issue of things like evolution, global warming, and liberal-conservative politics. How come? Because: reasonable people tend to have different opinions on things like these… and our Scripture teaches us that it’s okay to differ. No one is “saved” by believing the right things about evolution, global warming, or political leaning… “But doesn’t what you believe about God impact what you believe about these things?” Yes. But devoted Christians come down on both sides of each issue! To make these issues into divisive litmus tests for faith is a symptom of emotional fusion that implies: if we’re going to be in the same tribe, you better believe what I believe!

St. Paul had a completely different approach to ministry. He vowed to “know nothing but Jesus Christ…crucified.” The only message that mattered to him was the message of the Cross. It was completely fine with him if some people believed the world was flat (the European “barbarians” believed in a flat earth, the Romans however knew it was round) – because it’s okay to be wrong about some things! One day we’ll know everything perfectly – but for the time being, let’s focus on the important things…taking God seriously, and taking everything else with a grain of salt. Let’s not be like stupid kids in getting into a fist fight arguing over who’s better, Batman or Ironman… Obviously Batman is cooler, but it’s okay for you to be wrong about this

Second, if the church was more emotionally healthy, I think we’d have a better attitude toward our haters. Instead of wanting to crush people with our arguments, I think we’d care more about understanding where other people are coming from, and trying to be understood as well. Our message should be loud and clear: Yes, we do want to persuade you – but no, we don’t want to take over your life and do your thinking for you…

And third, I think local churches would be more diverse… I would absolutely hate for someone who loves Jesus to EVER feel out of place in our local church tribe. I don’t care if they had three heads and believed that aliens lived in Roswell — there HAS to be room for you in Jesus’ tribe. More realistically – people will believe something that is plausible but wrong – or they will believe something that sounds wrong to you, but is absolutely true!! If we grow properly we tend to lose more and more of our false beliefs – so instead of challenging these tangential beliefs, why not keep an open mind (and open dialogue), and focus on what we really do care about: God loves you, Jesus died for you, and now he wants you to enter His tribe (the church) and follow Him.

Related posts:

The way to missions today…

ljkim — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 18:43:29 +0000

This doesn’t apply to everyone and every situation – and both secular atheists and staunchly conservative Christians will dislike this… but if you have a desire to be a missionary and serve God by “adopting a culture and influencing (from the inside) with Jesus’ Gospel” – then my advice is: come here and do it… Come enter THIS money-focused, love-hungry, diverse, materialistic culture of NY, and love the people in it, and help people know and love their Savior…here.

“But what about the — people who don’t know Jesus?” someone objects… Here’s the thing: I can almost guarantee that there are people of that culture and ethnicity right here in NY – and the church here is probably not blessed with knowing them yet. Reach them here first – and I guarantee you God will make a way for them to be reached in their homeland. Or at the very least, do it here where you already have a foot in the door to every culture – first – before you raise money to travel thousands of miles elsewhere…

If you live or work in Manhattan, here is a culture that doesn’t know the first thing about Jesus. Be a missionary here. If you live in Queens or Brooklyn or Bronx – you live in an area with hundreds of languages and cultures within a subway stop of where you live. Pick a few and be a missionary there. If you live in Jersey (New Jersians – leave out the “new”) or Staten Island, you may already part of an extremely isolated suburban secular culture; your neighbors know you and trust you in ways they won’t trust outsiders or newcomers…

Not everyone can be a missionary to any culture – but find the ones within reach, and live your life for Jesus (and not for yourself) – and I promise you’ll be blessed with wildly interesting, exciting, sometimes-uncomfortable, but deeply rewarding lives where you get to see Jesus at work.

Related posts:

You make it look good…

ljkim — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:53:19 +0000

A few of my early teachers said the same thing (although CSL said it first): that the main problem with following Jesus isn’t “understanding,” it’s “imagination.” Many times people refuse to believe something, not because they can’t understand that it might be true, but rather because they can’t imagine it! And from years of talking to people and hearing questions about the Bible, the vast majority of questions come from this crisis of imagination… Often the “answers” that satisfy people are not the air-tight “rational” ones, but stories that help them imagine how something about God could be true… Anyway, when it comes to following Jesus as a disciple, the problem is similar: it’s not that people don’t understand what it means to follow Jesus – it’s that we often lack the imagination to show how one could do that…HERE…at my school, at my workplace…in this city. So for many of you, what God wants you to do here is help people imagine what it looks like to really follow Jesus in this world.

I just spent the morning talking with someone who grew up in a family that was part of a strict religious group. Whenever he hears about giving your life to Jesus, or being a disciple, he has a particular picture of what that means… He can’t imagine that I would be talking about something different; so he tunes me out when I go there. It’s not enough to say “but that’s not what I’m talking about…” Once people get an idea fixed in their minds, it takes a lot to change that mental picture…

That’s where you come in… We need people who will truly follow Jesus here in this world, this city, this time, this culture (wherever and whenever you happen to be)… Because you are the ones that make it look good. Most people who grow up in church get “cool” by doing things that break their “churchy” image in front of their friends. That’s fine with me, I dislike most forms of “churchy-ness.” But Jesus followers can show people that what makes them cool, unshakable, open, risk-taking, unconventional, deep, interesting – is the part of them trying to follow Jesus…

I’m not talking about marketing “spin”: Sad old people who try to make Jesus “hip” to the youngsters. Somehow being fake, even for a good cause, doesn’t seem too Jesus-like. I’m talking about real people who walk with Jesus. Doing things they would not have done on their own, repenting, trying new things, loving people, loving the city, living passionately, doing Jesus-y things… If that’s what you mean by following Jesus, then where can I sign up?

Related posts:

Everyone is a minister…right?

ljkim — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 22:11:12 +0000

It stabs me in the heart whenever Christians don’t seem to believe this… One of the common (responsibility dodging) attitudes is “I didn’t know, they don’t tell me these things…” If people need my help they should just come up and ask… Well, just the way it’s sort of a nurse’ job to know if a patient is not doing well, and it’s a pastor’s job to know if someone’s in trouble, it’s actually you’re job to look out for your friends and neighbors… especially within CF.

The truth is people tell pastors certain kinds of things – often health or family related things that are weighing down on them – but for the vast majority of things, pastors will probably be the last ones to know. If someone is being an a**hole, he probably wouldn’t act that way toward the pastor, and if someone is drinking too much or spending too much, or out of control in some way – it won’t be something the pastor has an inside scoop on. Chances are NON-pastors will find out first – and chances are that they’d be willing to talk about it openly to you way BEFORE they’d want to talk to me about it.

What I’d like you to do (whichever church you are a part of) is approach church not as a Consumer…but as Ministers. What would you think of a priest who worked at the monastary all week but didn’t have any energy left over to care about the people in the church? I’d say that kind of priest was missing the point of his job…his job as a priest is to look after the people of his church. Well… Jesus has made us a nation of priests. Every disciples is a minister. Everyone served by Jesus turns around and serves others. How amazing is that?

More than just plausibility…

ljkim — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:31:19 +0000

Almost every Filipino I know is Catholic, this was once true for my Irish friends too. Almost every Korean American I know went to a Presbyterian or Methodist church as a child. And almost every older African American woman I know goes to church as well. What does this mean for us? It means it’s easy for our unbelieving friends to see us going public with our faith, and assume it’s a part of our residual cultural identity (whether it is or not). As a result they might respect our faith, but feel, “that stuff is fine for you, but it has nothing to do with me.” It’s like celebrating Thanksgiving in Kenya… It’s fine as an American tradition, and can be respected elsewhere, but it doesn’t mean the same thing for non-Americans.

That’s how many people interpret faith… a personal tradition. But what they need to see is how real faith is emotionally and intellectually alive – and not just a tradition… They need to see that grace and redemption, forgiveness and seeing oneself as a sinner under grace…lives in your heart and mind right now, that you wrestle with these things, and rely upon them… Because only then can Christianity be plausible as something for everyone…

Related posts:

The power of plausibility…

ljkim — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:45:44 +0000

Studies have shown that people find it harder to believe someone when they are culturally different from you… So when someone from a foreign country who speaks and looks and sounds strange to you tells you something, it’s harder to believe even if everything they’re saying is true. I bring this up because if only certain kinds (culturally) of people talk about God, it’s very easy for your unbelieving friends to feel God and the Bible is implausible… But if people like them, (ie, people like you) who believe were to go public with their faiths… it creates a plausibility structure.

Your unbelieving friends actually need to know that you love your Savior… Even if it shocks and annoys them at first, even if they become suspicious that you’re “one of them” – your daily friendship and character can prove otherwise. Right now your friends might only have a mental folder for “those people” with a subfolder “those people/Christians.” By letting them know, you help create a new mental category of “people like me who happen to believe in Jesus.”

I’m not talking about trying to convince anyone of anything, I’m simply talking about coming out of the closet when it comes to your faith…

Related posts:

Sacrifices…

ljkim — Thu, 13 May 2010 23:30:39 +0000

Doing it differently – doing it for real – is going to require sacrifices. Anything extraordinary is going to require sacrifices. What’s a sacrifice? It’s anything beyond what you would normally do, and therefore it costs you… in effort, time, complexity, bandwidth, friends, enemies, emotional energy… If you want to do “what you would normally do,” then the best you can hope for is to be “ordinary.” If you really want extraordinary, then it’s going to require something extra. At the very least it won’t come naturally. It will require doing something contrary to what you would ordinarily do (something extra). You understand this when it comes to work: if you just do the regular thing, the typical answer, the dime-a-dozen approach, then you know it’s not going to be worth your while. You typically do EXTRA when it comes to the things that matter to you…

God matters. And I believe God matters to you. But traditional religion has taught you to give nothing and expect nothing from God: just put on your nice Sunday clothes and go pay your respects…at best you’ll come home with a little bit of inspiration, or at least a nice nap. In traditional religion, “sacrifice” means putting a little extra in the offering box…even though we say “God owns all of it, everything I have is for him.” We’ve been taught to give God lip service, but not the real thing.

Following Jesus for real, loving God for real will cost you. Really loving your neighbors, loving your enemies even is going to require you to dig deep and take hold of what Jesus’ message with both hands. It’s going to require all of your mind, all of your will, all of your strength. The Gospel is free, but it’s not cheap (it cost God quite a bit), and it’s not easy… It takes courage and intellect and strength to face your sin and accept real grace.

So are you ready to do this? Jesus never said following was like “a day at the spa.” That seems to be what most people expect these days…to sit back and feel “refreshed.” God will give you everything you need – but God’s not in the business of refreshing you just so you can go back to making yourself weary with stuff that’s not Him (money and play and toys and self-promotion).

We’ve tried it the no-effort way, the result of the no-effort way sucks. Let’s repent. Let’s get real…for Christ’s sake!

Related posts: