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Archive for the 'community building' Category

The ministry of listening…

Most people have a need to be heard.  Especially if you’re not rich or beautiful or successful, but even if you are…you have this ravenous hunger to be able to say something and have people hear you and understand.  So one of the kindest things you can do is to give people the chance to [...]

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Okay maybe not every day.  And maybe not necessarily this blog.  But maybe…!  One small key (key’s are usually small, but important) to community is a quick daily check-in.  So if you see someone every day, and talk for just a few minutes, what you’ll find after a couple of weeks is that you are [...]

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The philosophy of “hate your enemy” means that your friends will probably need to agree with you on all the important things.  The philosophy of “love your enemy”, however, means you will have friends who have strong differences in opinion.  [Why?  Because you will be loving and befriending people who's beliefs and actions sometimes oppose [...]

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Imagine you’re talking to someone about something and he/she presents a contrary opinion that just doesn’t make any sense to you. It’s just obviously false. Totally wrong. Nothing more to say… What do you do? [a] politely tell the person “you’re wrong” [b] change the subject [c] make eye contact with someone else in the [...]

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There are lots of reasons people think “I’m better than you” (IBTY)…  At the lower end there’s the “I have a $15k watch, therefore IBTY.”  Or “I have nicer clothes IBTY.”  As silly as it sounds when you say it outloud, these IBTY’s pertaining to houses and cars and things are a lifelong pursuit for [...]

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For some of you, this is the biggest fight of your life: someone told you, or tells you repeatedly how stupid you are, how terrible you are, how worthless as a person; how you’ll never amount to anything good.  Sometimes it’s not even a person, it’s your body image, or your social position (in a [...]

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Love and Loyalty

One part of love that is under emphasized in our culture is “loyalty.”  When you love someone, with a real love, it comes with the expectation of loyalty.  What’s that?  Loyalty means I will not cease to love even when the feelings of love and friendship abandon me. Why do we need loyalty?  Because real [...]

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Jesus’ Way of Friendship

[I was going to do this one as a video blog, but I need a shave and my hair is sticking sideways so I'll write you a transcript instead.] There’s a part where Jesus says “Love one another as I have loved you” and “by this the world will know that you are my disciples…that [...]

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