How to deal with people who disappoint you…

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I remember there was a t-shirt that was popular when I was younger that said, “beam me up scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here.” I think this is how leaders and world-changers in training can feel some times…  but Jesus won’t beam you up (go ahead and ask) because there’s work to do here, important work changing hearts and minds.  The biggest problem on this planet isn’t the environment, or Ebola, it’s people.  In science we have the resources to deal with almost anything, but no matter how many resources and how much technology we have it can’t seem to fix our core problem: our hearts and minds are bent.  But Jesus has a solution and YOU (reading this) are part of it.  So how do we deal with the people who make us think “Beam me up Scotty??”

First, you forgive them.  You can say it outloud too, “Lord I forgive this person.”  Then stop complaining about them (Even silently in your heart).  And when you get annoyed again do it all over, “Lord, I forgive this person.”  And remember that for you, this is (probably) not the hard forgiving that people have to do when they forgive people who killed family members, we’re just talking about the people who annoy and disappoint us when we’re trying to help them…  Ask for God’s help and forgive them, period.  No excuses.  This is something you CAN do with God’s help – and as you are doing this you are more than half way there!

Second, stop thinking about where they are right now, what they’re like right now, their current heart state – and instead ask, “how can I help this person grow?”  You see, as long as you’re focused on where the person IS (at the moment), what they’re like, and shaking your head tsk tsk, you are judging them.  And we both know that judging people is NOT our job.  The trap bent people like you and me often fall into is we veer off from helping to judging.  You don’t need to judge someone in order to help them (judging people only gets in the way).  I know many people with really important things they need to share with others, but they are useless in the church because they’re too busy judging and not-forgiving people.  But when we focus on, “what can I do to help the person grow a little?” we quickly start seeing results…  Not because we’re so good, but because Jesus works in His church, Jesus works in people who want to work for Him – and so when you’re doing this Jesus works in you.

Third, remember that someone also had to forgive YOU (over and over again), and had to overlook your current state and focus on developing you instead.  That’s what Jesus does.  And in smaller ways that’s what people have done too; there’s no such thing as a Leader who hasn’t experienced some kind of nurturing from peers and mentors…whether you realized it at the time or not.

Fourth, thank God and get on with it.  Jesus work is hard, but it’s also fun.  We mourn but then we get to rejoice even more.

Related posts:

  1. How to deal with emotional blackmail (anime version)
  2. Why People Want to Judge
  3. Reason for not judging…
  4. Regular people v. broken people…
  5. The real deal with evangelism…
  6. Two ways to deal with new information…
  7. The secret to radical non-judgment…
  8. Why I debate with people about God (and why I sometimes shouldn’t)

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