The wisdom of the pack…
Jun 17th, 2010 by ljkim
Murray Bowen found that his counseling patients often got better when they removed themselves and spent some time in a healthy community. It wasn’t enough to have thoughtful counseling dealing with their issues… Real issues required being in an emotionally safe place with other people who were supportive and considerate, with healthy personal space and boundaries in the midst of community. Caesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, found the same thing with nervous dysfunctional dogs. When they were brought into a healthy pack, the pack teaches the dog how to be a healthy happy dog in a way that a human could not. Place an animal as part of a vicious dysfunctional pack and it quickly becomes vicious and aggressive. We actually have our own Dog Whisperer here in Sunnyside – he walks a pack of ten dogs at once – and each one is perfectly behaved. And astonishingly, when he brings new dogs into the pack – they get right in line.
Now I’ve always been a loner in the past. And I think it’s kept me from being overbearing or controlling – because I’m comfortable being around other loners. (I’m good with cats too because I don’t take it personally when they ignore me – they can come and go as they please.) But…the Bible always talks about community. It always speaks in second person plurals. The fruits of the spirit are all relational, can only be seen in community.
Maybe God wants us to create healthy packs, so that we can learn some things that we can only learn from a pack. Cesar Millan is an otherworldly being in the dog world. He can seemingly exorcise doggy demons and cure dysfunctions with one touch of thumb and index finger. And yet, many of his doggy patients can only learn what they need to learn by spending time in the pack with other dogs… Maybe the same is true for us.
What CityFellowship needs are community architects with soft skills… People who know how to be big brothers and big sisters…but just as important are people who know how to be little brothers and little sisters (it’s actually harder for some people!) People with the soft skills to be able to counsel people without a counseling session – encourage people without preaching a sermon – give good advice without being preachy… Who can lead without acting like a leader or “lording over others”; teach without lecturing people in a classroom. You get the idea… Sure there’s a place for counseling sessions and classrooms – but that’s a small part of life – the rest is for people with soft skills.
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