Misery as a religion…
Feb 2nd, 2010 by ljkim
Some people have an unspoken belief that being spiritual (or maybe even just being a better person) and being miserable go together… Billy Joel sings, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.” The thing is saints laugh a lot more…it’s those who follow the gods of money or sex or drugs or whatever who wind up in tears. Anyway I don’t want to argue the case that God’s way brings more joy – there’s only one way to prove it, and that’s to live it – so those of you who know me well may know that I can be a miserable like anyone else…but as I’ve been growing in holiness, humility, trusting God, I’ve also been growing in laughter, joy and fun. What I want to point out here is that the theology of misery is (unfortunately) alive and well in our secular world.
It used to be people got “religious” and miserable…“Get thee to a nunnery!” Almost as though self-inflicted sadness could make one better. Today we mostly skip the religion and go straight for the misery.
Why would anyone do that? Sometimes it’s a mistake: there’s something about suffering that makes people deep. If you’ve never suffered, you can’t be deep. But suffering and being miserable are two different things. St. Paul suffered, but he wasn’t miserable; neither were people like Mother Theresa or Ghandi…meanwhile there are plenty of people in the fanciest places in Manhattan who aren’t suffering, and yet are miserable.
So why would someone WANT to be miserable? I think there’s a strange power one gets from feeling bad… There’s a way of being miserable that makes you feel superior to all those ’stupid people having fun.’ Some people feel so genuinely superior making themselves miserable that they want other people to share in their superior misery. All I can say about this is: Don’t fall for that! Whether you’re religious and miserable, or secular and miserable – either way it’s the worst religion of all. Jesus’ way, the best way, may involve suffering (but then again, which way doesn’t have suffering of some sort?), but it’s also paved with lots of love, joy, and humility. This means you will cry, but you’ll also laugh and have fun along the way.
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