The Remote Control
Aug 17th, 2009 by ljkim
Has there ever been an invention that was quite as natural as the remote control? If you’re not a gadget person, you have to learn to like things like Blackberrys (or is it berries?) and IPhones, and IM and Twitter… Many people didn’t like these things at first but then grew to like them. But a remote control needs no warm up time. The first person who ever held a remote to a TV set probably saw the value of it instantly…instead of just letting the TV play through its commercials, you could change it from where you were!
Now I bring this up because most people have a metaphorical remote control to change people. We do it with words, we do it with thoughts, and it’s what sometimes makes us miserable, and almost always makes other people feel miserable. You can try to press nice buttons and change people the nice way, or press not-so-nice buttons, but the idea is the same: you’re in control of the remote, and it’s your job to change people. But here’s a radical thought: what if it was not your job to change anyone but yourself? What if there’s a reason God didn’t actually give you a people-remote? Then I would have to focus on changing me, and you would have to focus on changing you, and we could take this journey of growing up together side by side…rather than wrestling one another for control.
Some people might recognize the idea (Bowenian self-differentiation vs. emotional fusion), but it is really rooted in God’s character. Imagine how life (and the Bible) would be different if God insisted on controlling us with a remote control instead of letting us hold our own remotes? Sin usually makes us want to control all the remotes. Sometimes Sin can make you want to give someone else your remote: to work, or to loved ones (so you are no longer responsible). But God made us each captains of just one soul. So the only question you need to worry about is not “what will they do?” But “what will YOU do?”
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