Five Tips for Dealing with Haters
Jul 1st, 2008 by ljkim
Celebrities have them: people who hate them for seemingly no reason…even though they don’t usually DO anything to deserve it. People like Martin Luther King Jr. and Abraham Lincoln had even more of them. And if you follow Jesus to any degree, so will you. Jesus said that this would be the case… And he even went so far as to say ‘beware when EVERYONE speaks well of you.’ If no one is against you it’s probably because you don’t actually stand for anything worth disagreeing with.
So what do you do when people speak against you (usually behind your back)? Sometimes it might be for things you’ve done wrong… These are the easiest to deal with because you can just go apologize and set it right. But what do you do when people speak against you and you haven’t particularly done anything wrong? Here are some personal tips:
#1 – Don’t change for the haters. Of course if you’ve done something wrong or offended someone unintentionally you should apologize profusely and try to make it better… In that case you’ll probably win a friend, and have become better as a result. But…at the same time, don’t change simply to suit other people’s preferences. If Jesus acted the way everyone wanted him to, he couldn’t have been Jesus; and chances are there’s something about you and your viewpoint that’s valuable.
#2 – Love the haters. This is a core value (to love enemies) but I put it second for a reason… You need to show your haters that it’s okay to have honest differences in opinion. Just because I like something doesn’t mean that you need to like it also… That’s the problem with haters to begin with – they are taking matters of taste and opinion and elevating it to the level of “gospel.” But our Gospel includes loving one’s enemies…
#3 – Address false or misleading statements. It’s not loving to let people slander you. I’m not saying you need to call people out on things, but you can be vocal about misconceptions that people might have bringing them out into the open so that no one needs to be embarrassed for jumping to false conclusions…
#4 – Be humble. If people make fun of you for something silly laugh with them. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t laugh at yourself. And don’t feed the haters flame by taking their trash talk personally.
#5 – Leave the door open for friendship. How many great friendships begin with great rivalries? How many great love stories begin with two people who can’t stand each other? What would happen if all those people simply wrote off their enemies and banished them from their presence? Loving one’s neighbors and enemies means leaving a door open so that rivalries can turn into friendships, and differences of opinion can turn into a diversity of viewpoints.
[About the photo: Yep that's MLK's mug shot after he was arrested for being part of the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Dr. King had haters who were both black and white...but I think he won everyone over in the end.]
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