What You Look Like
May 14th, 2008 by ljkim
We really aren’t equipped to know what we look like. I can see YOUR face more clearly than I can see my own. Actually…I can’t see my own at all without some kind of external device (a mirror or a camera) – and even then mirrors and cameras only show you a likeness, sometimes reversed, and not as clear as what someone sitting across from you sees. This is why you really need people to tell you when you have something on your face or a big fat piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. Lots of people won’t say anything even when they see it (because they don’t feel comfortable enough with you to point it out, or aren’t looking as closely as you would at your own face or that of a loved one’s). Sometimes I see it and don’t say anything because I know it’ll just fall off on its own – although spinach is like superglue for teeth, so needs to be addressed immediately. All this goes right against the hyper-individualistic mindset that says “I know ME better than anyone else can! Don’t tell me about me, I know me!”
In the same way you don’t really know what you’re like emotionally or spiritually – you don’t know your bad habits until someone else points them out to you. Newlyweds sometimes find this out the hard way – the more you love someone, the harder it is to keep your mouth shut when he has pie on his chin… A spouse can only point out some things – a community, however, can bring out more of you – not only tell you about the pie on your face, but the sign on your back and the gum on your shoe. Now no one likes to have a fault pointed out – but it’s not so bad when it’s by a friend. And the momentary embarrassment of wiping pie off one’s face or removing a sign from one’s back is infinitely better than the prolonged embarrassment of walking around that way…
We’re always saying that church needs to be a “community” of friends rather than just a meeting or an organization… Because only friends who care enough can look closely enough and tell you what everyone else already knows…
[About the photo: Grace working from home on a Saturday night.]
Related posts: