A Church that Fits
May 20th, 2008 by ljkim
There are a couple of things I’ve found over the years: First, just because a church is “good” doesn’t mean it’s a good fit for you. It’s possible for a church to be excellent and vibrant and sincere, yet not be quite right for you at the moment… It’s not that the church is wrong – and it’s not that there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just possible to have a not-right fit. An extreme (and obvious) example of this is if you walk into a Spanish church but you don’t speak Spanish: You can absorb the atmosphere, you can enjoy the music and the energy, but you won’t be able to get what a church is for… In the same way there are lots of folks who are enjoying the spirit and energy and sincerity of churches but aren’t able to really take part in the Church because it’s not a good (cultural) fit at the moment. Second, just because a church community feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a good fit. It could be comfortable because everyone is exactly like you (and everyone who is different is pushed out), or it could be comfortable because it doesn’t challenge you at all… So comfort should not be the #1 factor. Then what should we look for?
I’d like to propose that one main thing you ought to look for is: “Is this a church you could bring your non-believing friends to?” If one of your friends were to come, would he/she be challenged by it or weirded out?
The answer to that is largely cultural: Some people see a guy in a suit and tie and think “Ah he looks very professional!” Others look at the same guy and think, “He looks like he’s trying to sell us something…” For some people the raw emotionalism of a pentecostal church would be impressive, for others it’s spooky. For some people the formality and intellectualism of a (typical) Presbyterian church would give it credibility – others would suspect that the formality and intellectualism is boring and a cover for a lack of substance.
The further you develop in knowing God, the less these cultural things will matter…you’ll be able to see past them. But God put you where you are for a reason…so one of the things you need in (both for your sake and for your unbelieving friends) is a church that can inhabit the same cultural space as you…
[About the photo: Just some folks sitting out in the park on a sunny day...not today - today is rainy]
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I agree but have a question: How is inhabiting the same cultural space different from people being the same as you?
Hey Courtney,
Good point! Sharing a culture with someone else by definition has to mean that they are ‘like you’ in some way…and so it can be at odds with diversity (which is important to us too!)
But I think a church can inhabit more than one cultural space – because Jesus has that sort of appeal…
Back in the 80′s (I think) both preppies and hip hop homeboys liked Tommy Hilfiger clothing – it’s not that one was trying to be the other, but for a time both groups felt like they owned it…I think Jesus has even more of an eclectic appeal… And you can sometimes see this in churches that aren’t even trying to inhabit more than one cultural space (e.g. the large numbers of people from traditional Korean and Chinese churches that go to Redeemer here in NY).
But finding the right fit is important because it’s surprisingly easy to have a double-life when it comes to church – to feel comfortable with a worship community that is unable to speak to anyone else in your life – and I suspect that it would be impossible to fully integrate one’s faith in one’s life this way…
Hmm… Good point. Maybe not impossible, but definitely makes something that’s already hard sometimes even harder.