Ahk! I’m (a Non-Christian) Dating a Christian! Now what?
Apr 30th, 2006 by ljkim
So you’ve seen that episode of Dawson’s Creek where Michelle Williams goes out with that mysterious new guy. . .only to find herself sitting in a Bible study. Now you’re wondering if that’s going to be you in a few days. So here’s what you can do:
Step #1, make sure that he/she is not part of some cult. You can ask gently if there are any space ships or suicide pacts involved in their religion. . .Or better yet, do a little research online, or ask someone who might know about these things. The odds are that your new girlfriend/boyfriend is NOT in some weird cult – or why would you have been attracted to him/her in the first place (unless you’re into that sort of thing)?
Step #2, once you’re clear on the spaceship/no-spaceship thing, think about what attracted you to this person in the first place. Chances are he/she is different than the other people you’ve dated, and you like that. You want to honor that difference instead of making them feel weird about it. Chances are that part of what you’re really attracted to is God in his/her life. If you think he/she is sexy, let them know, but don’t pressure him/her into sex. It’s hard saying no to sex, you don’t have to make it any more difficult. Don’t get me wrong, the Bible is very much into hot sex – the kind of hot sex and passion that lasts a lifetime. Let’s not cheapen that. Remember he/she is NOT like the other people you’ve dated.
Step #3, get ready for conflict and confusion. Chances are he/she feels very strongly toward you (otherwise he/she wouldn’t bother – see Ahk! I’m dating a Non-Christian). Strong feelings = confusion and conflicts. One minute you might feel really close, until you say something and he/she turns into an iceberg. Keep in mind that all his/her mature Christian friends are telling him/her that dating a non-Christian is a bad idea. Don’t hold it against them, it’s not the source of the conflicts, but it’s related. . . Dating is hard. Dating someone who doesn’t share your deepest core values is a recipe for heartache. Common sense says stay away from heartache. . .but the heart does its own thing. This is going to be hard for you too, but there are ways to soften the difficulties. . .Which brings us to. . .
Step #4, be spiritually open and honest. Really be open to learning about God, and who Jesus is. Learn to talk about these things seriously and openly without making it sound like you’re more open to this than you really are. . .Remember, he/she takes this stuff very seriously. And in a way, you should too. I mean. . .if this stuff is true then it applies to you too; if it’s not true, then no one should waste their time on it… Yep, you heard me right! If it’s not true, then (Christians believe) no one should waste their time on it. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is (to some extent) risking his/her faith for you! You must be some catch! The least you can do is be open to the possibility that God may have used this totally hot guy/gal to get your attention and introduce you to a new life and a new freedom you never knew existed…
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