the thing about being poor (2)
Jan 26th, 2012 by ljkim
Middle class folks LOVE getting free stuff. I mean, who doesn’t right? So when we give generously to the poor, we think “O man, we just made their day! What great people we are!” And so this is what a lot of good people do or aspire to do… and we don’t understand when people in soup kitchens snicker, or a homeless person doesn’t want your food leftovers. “So ungrateful!” So we take it overseas or across the border to shower our generosity on more deserving poor, who smile as we bring them toilet paper and teach their children Jesus songs – and they bless us in God’s name, but then at some point we sense a hint of resentment, a snicker, or something… What’s going on? If you really just want to make yourself feel better and earn your title of “good person” by your generosity – and that’s all you want, then just keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want to understand why people (sometimes) don’t seem to want your charity, or scam you when they’re clearly in need, or resent your generosity, then read on.
We’re doing a series on how we grow and change, and the first thing I want to get across is that it IS possible to change and grow. Although there are many people who are stuck unable to change, real change is possible… Those who say “people never really change” are usually talking about changing other people; we want to change others, and we can’t. But we can be part of deep and lasting and meaningful change in ourselves… when we want it. So the question is: What do you want to change or grow in yourself? 
Everyone has a breaking point… the point where we fail and don’t know what to do, and are overwhelmed. We think it’s God’s job to keep us from getting there; but it’s really just the opposite! God WANTS you to get to the end of your rope. To throw your hands in the air and say “I give up! I can’t do this!” Because THAT is when God can step in and work… On Sundays we’re talking about ‘how we change and grow‘, and we mentioned that all the problems in this come from two things: 1) trying to do stuff that only God can do, and 2) not doing the part that we are responsible for doing… So things like taking a Sabbath, making time to pray, being involved in Church, making opportunities for meaningful friendships, making opportunities for meaningful discussions, staying sober (for people who aren’t addicts)…these are (examples of) things that WE are responsible for doing. Growing, changing, helping us understand, making us loving, joyful, giving us peace, patience, these are examples of things that God does. 
People think I want to obey so that I can get more of God’s favor… or because I don’t want to get punished. So when bad things happen, people naturally wonder if they’re being punished… And many people in the church want to do “just enough” so that they don’t get bad stuff from God. I even kid around and tell people, “if you do that Jesus is going to kick your a**!” But that’s not really true. And that’s not why I want to do what God wants: because I know God is on my side… God is on your side too: He loves SINNERS who say one thing and do another, who don’t follow through, people who fail, and have even intentionally made bad decisions, people who knowingly disobey him… God loves sinners like me, so I’m not worried about Jesus kicking my butt at the moment. But the reason why I want to do what He wants me to do is because I trust him. 
Without things like “New Years” it’s easy to lose track of our lives amidst the busy-ness of every day things. And for many people the best use of milestones like “new years” is to use it as a RESET point. To say “from THIS day forward… I will not do — and I will begin to do –.” The American tradition does this through New Year’s Resolutions… The Hebrew tradition was to start the new year (Rosh Hashana) with ten days of repentance. They both have the same idea: there’s stuff in me that needs to change, and this is the time to do it, a fresh start… And I think this is the right idea: so I’d like to encourage you (and me) not to waste this. Don’t waste 2012 as an opportunity to reset your life, reset your relationships, reset how you think and act, and your priorities… Here’s your chance to make a change! If you are ready for that – let’s start it right – together Sunday morning 11:11. See you!
Many people say, “I ‘get’ Paul and John and Peter… And I love reading [insert favorite Christian author]…but Jesus Himself is so…abstract.” Of course there are also many less-thoughtful Christians who “like to think” of Jesus as their best friend from High School, or as Obi Wan Kenobi, or their favorite famous Christians – or some other image they picked up – and they have trouble reconciling their version of Jesus with the one in the Bible. Now if you’re in the first group, and you really want to know why Jesus is hard for you to get to know – and how you can break past that barrier continue reading. For the rest of you, I know you might be curious – but wait till you really want to know, otherwise what I’ve learned about this just might discourage you instead of helping you… 
Instead of buying ever pricier toys, or ever more elaborate and exotic vacations how about taking all that time and energy to design a great life instead? A life that’s so good you won’t ever “need” a vacation. A life that’s so good, so meaningful and comfortable that other people WANT to be in your life… to share in your world because you really know how to live. And I guarantee that if you have a happier life you will do better at work, find a better job, do better at personal goals like weight loss or getting fit, or saving money, etc. Why? The reason why we often fail at these things is because we’re not “happy” enough at the core – so we wind up using other things (food, vacations, toys, etc) to make ourselves feel better… So instead of chasing after temporary relief – let’s get our lives in order… How do you do that? Here are ten personal suggestions – take and use what makes sense to you… 
Recent studies suggest that you should never tell children they’re “smart.” Instead you should complement them for “working hard” or “overcoming obstacles” and things like that… Because if you tell people they’re smart, they’ll avoid doing things they’re afraid they won’t be good at. Which is a problem, since the way you get good at things is by being bad at it first, yet persisting and getting better… One of the things that Jesus’ teaching set ME free from is the fear of being bad at things. Whereas before (because of pride) I had to be good at something to enjoy it, now it’s different. If my sense of worth doesn’t come from what I do (but from God’s gift of “righteousness”), I’m free to enjoy things I suck at… and I get to learn (and get good at) new things on a regular basis… 
You can always check the right hand margin of this page for the time and location of our Sunday Meeting… But just to bring home the point: we’re back at our old space on 18th Street!